Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
