He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
third nipple confirmed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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