So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
