You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
