I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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