I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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