So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
