You just made me feel so damn special
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
