I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize