it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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