i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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