I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
