is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
