im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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