You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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