guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
