I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
