We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize