Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
