Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
