i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
