like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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