I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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