Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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