Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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