Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
