He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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