We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
