Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize