i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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