apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize