It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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