it wasn't lemon gatorade
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so let's talk penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
