we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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