the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
