I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
