It's a beautiful day for a hangover
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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