I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
