Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
