The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
