her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
