Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
