I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
