I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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