But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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