Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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