Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize