i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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