Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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