NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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