Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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