well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize