Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
