it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
