my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
