if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
