$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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