Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
