I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
there is glitter all over my balls
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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