So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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