new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
