On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
