Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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