I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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