Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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