I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
